What religions tell us is that love, marriage and relationships are written in heaven. However economics may argue in a different way. When God leaves rooms for man to play his own game, fates can possibly be written by Greek letters.
At one night my friend told me about his gloomy story. He just broke up with his girlfriend. After has been together for almost 5 years, his-ex loves someone whom she just met for the last three months. It is pretty unreasonable but all that love is. I told him, there are many reasons which may end your relationship. First, your-ex perceives that this guy is far better than you (well..this is one of the hard facts). Second, since both of you live a part, it seems that there is no incentive to keep the relationship yet strong incentive to deviate, namely, cheats. Lower the trust, stronger the incentive for cheating. This is such a game which reminds me to prisoner’s dilemma.
This semester, I take a course called “Strategic decision making”. It is all about game-theory and a classic example of the theory is prisoner’s dilemma. The story is about two suspects that are separated and interrogated in different cells. Police found strong evidence to condemn each of them with minor crime. But there is no enough evidence to convict them for a major crime unless one of them whistles against the other. If both of them do not confess about their crimes, both will be charged of the minor offense. If one and only one of them confess, he will be released and used as witness against the other, who will spend five years in jail. If they both confess, each will spend 3 years in jail. Interestingly, this game results them to confess against each other and spend 3 years in jail.
Why do they not cooperate by both do not confess? As a matter of fact, the answer relies on basic human instinct; each suspect thinks that the other will confess against him.
Ignoring the possibility that this guy is better than him (I guess my friend is at least as good as this guy), we may find similarity between prisoner’s dilemma and his story. In his case, his-ex was likely to think that he would cheat, so she decided to cheat (or broke the relationship). Surely it’s really hard to find that your partner cheat while you still keep the relationship. Unfortunately, he did not cheat although he knew that it was better for him (but not for his relationship) also to cheat. Perhaps, this situation does not truly model prisoner’s dilemma as my friend does not deviate by cheating. Nevertheless it explains why long-distance relationship is hardly stable. Worse, a fact which barely be accepted is that the equilibrium of long-distance relationship usually exists when both of them cheat. That is what the theory tells us.
At that night, I recalled a song of Beatles, Yesterday-"Yesterday,..love was such an easy game to play”. It is still true. Love is finally such a game to play.